Despite its simple cover, this book is one of the most poignant and life changing I have ever read with regard to romantic relationships-and how to choose the right ones wisely.
Within “Are you the one for me?” Barbara De Angelis discusses numerous relationship topics, most of which we never think to consider, nor did we learn or discuss at any point in our lives (though topics which will make all the difference in choosing relationships that will bring you great joy and lasting satisfaction).
De Angelis teaches us many things in this marvelous and insightful read, though among them:
—Relational red flags to be on the lookout for. Many of which, we often see and ignore.
–Compatibility time bombs (as in, the relationship may seem to work well and be awesome initially but is a ticking explosion waiting to happen for these specific reasons, aka compatibility time bombs).
—Relationship myths that a majority of us believe and base the choosing of our own relationships on (to our detriment down the road).
—The biggest mistakes we make at the beginning of a relationship.
–The wrong reasons to fall in love.
—Ten types of relationships that will not work.
–She draws our attention to crucial criteria to look for in our romantic partners, if we wish to have a truly happy and healthy relationship. Something people frequently get wrong.
–As well as toxic traits that will almost certainly (no matter how much we might like this person) result in heartbreak and disaster down the road.
This book offers guidance and knowledge on both how to choose, as well as how to be a healthy and good partner. This is an extremely worthwhile read, assisting with the guiding one toward and teaching with regard to great relationships.
Our culture is not one that offers education or mentor-ship with regards to relationships, especially friendship or romantic ones. Instead, we learn in school of science, math, history, English, even physical health. Yet, in no realm are we taught of crucial life topics such as: how to choose the right partner, as well as what it means to be a good partner yourself. And, what might a healthy relationship look and function like.
Our examples/models for such while growing up are mostly null. We have our parents to look to, and then later on, a handful of friends- and these can be very hit or miss, depending on what those relationships are like. Plus we have the media to consider- not often a very realistic nor healthy resource, and then simply learning as we go by trial and error. That is about it. None of this much paves the way for having great relationships. Thus, its no wonder so many of us make plethora’s of mistakes for years before figuring it out (all while some people never figure it out).
And if the few role models we have arent especially healthy or high quality, this tends to spell trouble later on down the road for our own understanding of relationships, as we grow up and experience them. Without much sense of direction or idea given to us while growing up of what constitutes a healthy relationship, what qualities truly matter in a partner, and how to be a good one ourselves, this does not tend to equate setting a person up for a life of positive romances.
Thus, there is no shame in pursuing knowledge and further understanding with regards to relationships. On the contrary. In order to have truly healthy, long lasting, satisfying, and joyous relationships, one must pursue this knowledge. As it isn’t innate, and this is not something we are born knowing. Instead, we must seek this learning and knowledge.
Doing so will arm one with the tools and insight with which to guide them towards the creating and careful choosing of great relationships throughout their life. An ability each of us need to purposefully learn, both via research, talking with people we trust who have the experience, and via reading wise books on the topic (as, important note, not all books offer truly useful or even high quality knowledge).
So, want a life of soul satisfying relationships? Choose to seek this knowledge out. Do this research and work. Of learning what a healthy relationship looks like, and how to choose a healthy partner, as well as be one. How to do this? Reading, and specifically, reading the right things. This book is an excellent place to start.
PS. the book cover can also look like this. There are a few different ones for this book.
(Another top notch relational book choice: How to be an Adult in Relationships, of which the title is misleading. Instead, its a beautifully written, wise, philosophical book all about healthy relationships, both finding one as well as being this person. All manner of topics are covered, from childhood and parental love, to friendship, the 3 stages of every romance, letting go when need be, commitment, etc. One of the most phenomenal books I have ever read on the topic of relationships).